My butter's not from cows.

My food is full of all preservatives,

The FDA allows.

My salt is just a substitute,

My cheese contains no fat.

My drinks are dietetic,

And they taste a little flat.

My bread is full of vitamins

It's dark and made of wheat,

My cereals are all whole grain

and they are never sweet.

Men liked their women padded

In the days when I was thin,

But now that I have added curves,

The skinny look is in.

And sometimes, when in retrospect

I view the hand of fate.

I really feel that I was born