The leeches look like they might have turned.

You've forgotten which one was the rectal thermometer.

You just read the most influential book of your life, written by Mary Baker Eddy.

They no longer manufacture an anti-Macarena drug.

Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

That birth control prescription labeled "C. Levy" is more than a bit incriminating.

The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake -- but you don't have a night-light.

A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between the aftershave and the aspirin.

Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste EVER.

The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your skull can't be sharpened.

Your Viagra has been sitting next to the toothpaste so long that you can't squeeze the tube without dinner, a movie, and 40 minutes of foreplay.

Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't touch me."

The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying, "Hi, Guy!"

and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet...

******

"My doctor has a great stress test. It's called 'the bill.'"

- Joey Adams

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

- David Letterman

"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is

interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."