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There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother's age.

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I dialed '0' and an operator answered promptly. I said, "Hello, I'd like to speak to the king of the jungle, please." She answered, "I'm very sorry, but the lion is busy."

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I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I commented, "I don't think that is going to help." "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers!"

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If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

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